Killing Superangie

So I found myself rereading Velvet Elvis this week and I got to the part where Rob talks about killing our "super whatevers." I realized that I needed to kill my superangie. I know it sounds absolutely morbid, but I swear that it is a good thing. Recently I have had to make many decisions regarding "friends." I spent much of my life trying to be the person that everyone wanted me to be and I'm getting better at being the person God made me to be; I struggle with it some days. I have spent the first year and a half of my college career attempting to save friendships that weren't really there any more and I have finally given up. Part of the reason why I tried so hard to save them was because I didn't understand how I was going to become a pastor and preach about loving others when I couldn't keep a few friendships intact. Then I realized that I don't have to be friends with everyone and that it is ok to let go. Sure it was nice to have friends and now I have four less friends on Facebook and there is the possibility that I will loose even more friends because I killed superangie;but what I have come to learn is that it isn't really about how many "friends" we have, what matters is how many of our friends are really and truly our friends. I have found an amazing group of friends at Cedar Crest, friends that I know will always be there for me, friends that will always support me, friends that are not using me to fulfill their desires. I am done being used and abused. In Velvet Elvis, Rob, talks about how living the life of someone we know we aren't is a sin because it isn't who God made us to be. He says that we become split. I was split for a very long time but I am in the process of super gluing myself back together because it is all about "the relentless pursuit of who God made me to be." And not that I foresee this happening but if for some reason all of my friends abandon me I will always have God. Because God loves me for I am. He didn't make me to be superangie He made me to be angie, nothing more and nothing less. I don't have to befriend one more person or save one more relationship to gain the love of God because I already have it and I will never loose it. I would like to thank all my amazing friends (you know who you are) for being there for me and loving me unconditionally.