Vessels of Possibility

I have a strange fascination with abandoned churches. When I see an abandoned church I cannot help but see all the possibilities. I look at it and try to imagine what it was like when it was the heart of the community.  Yesterday I came across an abandoned church that was constructed in 1808. The stone was crumbling, the paint on the doors was flaking, and the windows were covered in layers of dirt and grime. It was beautiful. The church reminded me of all the brokenness in our world. The war ravaged, disease ridden, poverty stricken places that seem to exist almost every where in our world. 

I have been stuck in a theological/ spiritual rut for a while and my soul is deeply wounded, but I am healing. My soul is in the antibacterial band-aid stage. The abandoned church reminded me of my soul and my faith in God.  A few weeks ago I came very close to walking away from the Church for good and giving up on my dream of going to seminary. I found myself on the Kiva website looking for a job and I came very close to applying for a position in Kenya. As I started to fill out the application I started to think about Peter walking on water. I do not really know why. I could not remember the last time I had even heard the story of Peter and Jesus on the water; some times the Spirit just works in mysterious ways. I found myself sitting at my desk rereading the story in Matthew:

“Right then, Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go ahead to the other side of the lake while he dismissed the crowds. When he sent them away, he went up onto a mountain by himself to pray. Evening came and he was alone. Meanwhile, the boat, fighting a strong headwind, was being battered by the waves and was already far away from land. Very early in the morning he came to his disciples, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified and said, ‘It’s a ghost!’ They were so frightened they screamed. Just then Jesus spoke to them, ‘Be encouraged! It’s me. Don’t be afraid.’ Peter replied, ‘Lord, if it’s you, order me to come to you on the water.’ And Jesus said, ‘Come.’ Then Peter got out of the boat and was walking on the water toward Jesus. But when Peter saw the strong wind, he became frightened. As he began to sink, he shouted, ‘Lord, rescue me!’ Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him, saying, ‘You man of weak faith! Why did you begin to have doubts?’ When they got into the boat, the wind settled down. Then those in the boat worshipped Jesus and said, ‘You must be God’s Son!’” (Matthew 14:22-33 CEB)

This story is about so much more than Peter walking on water. This story is about Peter loosing faith in Peter. This story is about God never giving up on Peter. This story is about Peter questioning. The wounds to my soul did not come from God giving up on me and abandoning me. My soul is wounded because I gave up on myself and in some ways I gave up on God. Just like the abandoned church and Peter, we are all full of possibilities. God does not give up on anything or anyone. Jesus coming to earth is proof of this. "Jesus is God's way of refusing to not give up on his dream for the world."

There is hope all around us. God is all around us. God is everywhere and in everything, all we need to do is be still and know that he is God. God is in the brokenness of our world. God is in the war ravaged countries. God is with those suffering from diseases caused by poverty and a lack of resources. God is with the poor. 

"You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of the dust

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of us

All around

Hope is springing up from this old ground

Out of chaos life is being found in You"

(Gungor- Beautiful Things)

go in Peace. live PEACE. be PEACE. 

On Earth

“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.

 Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
    on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.
 And lead us not into temptation,
    but deliver us from evil.” (Matthew 6:9-13 ESV)

Notice the words, “your kingdom come, your will be done on Earth” On Earth. That chunk of rock in space that we just happen to live on.

So what does it mean to create the Kingdom of God on Earth? What would it look like if the Church Universal worked together to create the Kingdom of God on Earth?

I wonder what would happen if the Church stopped making the purpose of Church attendance and money and made the purpose of the Church community and restoration.  I wonder if attendance would just naturally increase if the Church left the four walls of the sanctuary and became active in the community. I wonder what would happen of the Church Jesus’ command to “love your neighbor as yourself” seriously. I wonder what would happen if the Church took seriously its charge to care for the Earth. I wonder what would happen if the church stopped serving structures and started serving people.

After all Jesus said, “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.” (Mark 9:35 ESV) and “ It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:26-28 ESV).

In his book, “If the Church Were Christian” Philip Gulley says, “In the first story of the Bible, after God created the world, God gave humans the responsibility of caring for it. Old gospel tunes not withstanding, this world is our home and our responsibility. To shirk that duty in order to focus on a world we have no verifiable proof even exists is misguided. Yet many Christians still contend that preparing people for an afterlife should be the church’s chief priority and willingly commit much energy and money securing entry to heaven even as people suffer and starve for lack of basic necessities.”

It is almost Advent. I love Advent/Christmas/ Epiphany. The reason for my love is hope. Jesus came to restore our broken world. Jesus actively brought the Kingdom of God to Earth. This Jewish Rabbi understood that Heaven is not only this far off place, but that it could be a present reality. As a follower of “The Way” I am committed to bringing the Kingdom of God to Earth.

I want to leave you with some lyrics from one of my favorite songs, “You gave your life to make a difference.  You gave your life to make a change.  You welcome all to your table, you’re calling us to do the same.  I want my life to make a difference.  I want my life to make change.  I want my life to do some good here.  I want my life to make change.” Rachel Kurtz- Make A Difference

go in PEACE. live PEACE. be PEACE. 

Just Dance

I danced in the rain yesterday while singing Unashamed Love at the top of my lungs. I felt like I was a kid again, happy and carefree. Then I heard thunder in the distance and was quickly reminded that I am an adult and my life is no longer carefree.

The rain was strangely healing and after the day I had I need to be cleansed and reminded that God’s love is magical.

I get frustrated when televangelists say that to be happy we simply need to give God money. The fact is they are lying. Life can suck sometimes. When we are hurt by people that we trusted. When we come to the realization that we cannot fix all the brokenness in our world. When we learn how hurtful and powerful our words can be.

I am a Christian. I believe in a God of love and grace. But I also affirm that life can really suck.

The thing that I have come to realize is that God is not only present in the happy, carefree moments of our lives, but that She is also present in all of the sucky, icky moments of our lives as well.

In life’s sucky moments we hold onto hope. Hope that life won’t always suck. Hope that tomorrow will be better day. Hope that “every promise in the Book” really is ours. Hope that the storms of our lives will pass and a rainbow will appear.

This hope is not new. The ancients had hope: “A child is born to us, a son is given to us, and authority will be on his shoulders. He will be named Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace. There will be vast authority and endless peace for David’s throne and for his kingdom, establishing and sustaining it with justice and righteousness now and forever. The zeal of the Lord of heavenly forces will do this.” “He will stand and shepherd his flock in the strength of the Lord, in the majesty of the name of the Lord his God. They will dwell secure, because he will surely become great throughout the earth; he will become one of peace.” Under Roman oppression the people held unto this hope, “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more. There will be no mourning, crying, or pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Jimi Hendrix understood this hope, “When the power of love over comes the love of power, the world will know peace.”

I keep seeing that saying that says, “In the happy moments praise God. In the difficult moments trust God. In the quiet moments seek God. In every moment thank God.” This is a quaint little saying but what if; In the happy moments we praise God. In the sucktastic, icky moments we dance in the rain singing and the top of our lungs. And in every moment we hope.

go in PEACE. live PEACE. be PEACE.

Hope!

So this week was challenging for many reasons and at times I just wanted to give up on life. But I didn't and I'm glad that I didn't. Monday morning started out with a text from someone I care about very much (so much that I consider her to be my mom) that she and her husband were splitting. This was a problem for me, not because I don't believe in divorce but because they are my family, or at least the closest thing to a loving and caring family that I have right now. I went to work crying because I was scared and hurt and angry and I didn't know what else to do.

I had a horrible childhood parent wise and I didn't know if I could handle loosing another father, not after everything that happened last year with my mom's ex and my biological father. Thankfully they are staying together.

I sat through my art history class staring out the window trying not to fall apart in the middle of a lecture on Picasso. Throughout the class I had the lyrics for The Words I Would Say by Sidewalk Prophets stuck in my head.

Be strong in the Lord
And never give up hope
You’re gonna do great things
I already know
God’s got His hand on You
So don’t live life in fear
Forgive and forget
But don’t forget why you’re here
Take your time and pray
These are the words I would say

I give up hope very easily and it isn't good, but I just do it without even realizing that I have done it some days. I keep reminding myself that no matter what is going on in my life it's going to be ok because God has it under control. "Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." (Joshua 1:9 kjv) and then For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  "Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity." (Jeremiah 29:11-14) And yes I know that the passage from Jeremiah is about the Babylonian captivity but for me the Bible is living and therefore it is about my captivity in a life without hope.

So as the song says "never give up hope God's got his hand on you."

go in PEACE. be PEACE. live PEACE