Hope!

So this week was challenging for many reasons and at times I just wanted to give up on life. But I didn't and I'm glad that I didn't. Monday morning started out with a text from someone I care about very much (so much that I consider her to be my mom) that she and her husband were splitting. This was a problem for me, not because I don't believe in divorce but because they are my family, or at least the closest thing to a loving and caring family that I have right now. I went to work crying because I was scared and hurt and angry and I didn't know what else to do.

I had a horrible childhood parent wise and I didn't know if I could handle loosing another father, not after everything that happened last year with my mom's ex and my biological father. Thankfully they are staying together.

I sat through my art history class staring out the window trying not to fall apart in the middle of a lecture on Picasso. Throughout the class I had the lyrics for The Words I Would Say by Sidewalk Prophets stuck in my head.

Be strong in the Lord
And never give up hope
You’re gonna do great things
I already know
God’s got His hand on You
So don’t live life in fear
Forgive and forget
But don’t forget why you’re here
Take your time and pray
These are the words I would say

I give up hope very easily and it isn't good, but I just do it without even realizing that I have done it some days. I keep reminding myself that no matter what is going on in my life it's going to be ok because God has it under control. "Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." (Joshua 1:9 kjv) and then For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  "Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity." (Jeremiah 29:11-14) And yes I know that the passage from Jeremiah is about the Babylonian captivity but for me the Bible is living and therefore it is about my captivity in a life without hope.

So as the song says "never give up hope God's got his hand on you."

go in PEACE. be PEACE. live PEACE