The Peace that Passes Understanding

I finished my sophomore year of college today! I felt great  handing in my last final and looking at the grade on my final paper a 93, which for an economics class is really good for me. With studying for finals and going to PNEC annual meeting I haven't really had time to blog, but now that everything is over I can breath and write. 
I was listening to Pandora while getting ready to go to lunch with a local UCC pastor and Sanctus Real's "Whatever You're Doing" came on. I love that song and today it just clicked with me. Friday I had lunch with one of the most awesome people I know and we talked about a lot of stuff, including my fears which really don't make any sense once I say them. She told me about discernment by nausea. That is exactly what I am going through. 
I have been thinking about prison ministry for a while now and I still don't know about it. I don't know if I could handle getting the sex offender or the the child abuser. I know that as a Christian I need to love them regardless of what they have done, but I just don't know how I would react to them. It makes me nauseous...discernment by nausea. 
Back to Sanctus Real....

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
But I'm giving in to something heavenly

I remember that as soon as I had vocalized that I had been ignoring my call from God and that I wanted to/needed to go to Seminary I felt this strange peace. Life was and still is and more than likely always will be hectic but there is strange peace. It's the "peace that passes all understanding."

The more and more I think about where my life is going the more nauseous I become and yet there is this strange peace. I just have to surrender to God and know that he's got me in his hands because as the song goes, "He's got the whole world in His hands."

I don't know where my future is going to take me but I have come to accept that fact that if it doesn't make me nauseous I'm probably not doing the right thing. See I wasn't nauseous when I was an English major and I wasn't nauseous when I became a Business major, but as soon as I said I want to be a pastor I became nauseous. 

I've been thinking about my summer and leading VBS at the church I grew up in. I really don't what I was thinking when I came up with the idea, I'm starting to think that I wasn't thinking. I mean it scared me growing up and now I'm exposing more children to it. But then I thought that if I can welcome this children regardless of what anyone else at that church does then I am making the world a better place. As the date for VBS approaches I am becoming more and more nauseous which I guess is good thing.

go in PEACE. be PEACE. live PEACE.