Vessels of Possibility

I have a strange fascination with abandoned churches. When I see an abandoned church I cannot help but see all the possibilities. I look at it and try to imagine what it was like when it was the heart of the community.  Yesterday I came across an abandoned church that was constructed in 1808. The stone was crumbling, the paint on the doors was flaking, and the windows were covered in layers of dirt and grime. It was beautiful. The church reminded me of all the brokenness in our world. The war ravaged, disease ridden, poverty stricken places that seem to exist almost every where in our world. 

I have been stuck in a theological/ spiritual rut for a while and my soul is deeply wounded, but I am healing. My soul is in the antibacterial band-aid stage. The abandoned church reminded me of my soul and my faith in God.  A few weeks ago I came very close to walking away from the Church for good and giving up on my dream of going to seminary. I found myself on the Kiva website looking for a job and I came very close to applying for a position in Kenya. As I started to fill out the application I started to think about Peter walking on water. I do not really know why. I could not remember the last time I had even heard the story of Peter and Jesus on the water; some times the Spirit just works in mysterious ways. I found myself sitting at my desk rereading the story in Matthew:

“Right then, Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go ahead to the other side of the lake while he dismissed the crowds. When he sent them away, he went up onto a mountain by himself to pray. Evening came and he was alone. Meanwhile, the boat, fighting a strong headwind, was being battered by the waves and was already far away from land. Very early in the morning he came to his disciples, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified and said, ‘It’s a ghost!’ They were so frightened they screamed. Just then Jesus spoke to them, ‘Be encouraged! It’s me. Don’t be afraid.’ Peter replied, ‘Lord, if it’s you, order me to come to you on the water.’ And Jesus said, ‘Come.’ Then Peter got out of the boat and was walking on the water toward Jesus. But when Peter saw the strong wind, he became frightened. As he began to sink, he shouted, ‘Lord, rescue me!’ Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him, saying, ‘You man of weak faith! Why did you begin to have doubts?’ When they got into the boat, the wind settled down. Then those in the boat worshipped Jesus and said, ‘You must be God’s Son!’” (Matthew 14:22-33 CEB)

This story is about so much more than Peter walking on water. This story is about Peter loosing faith in Peter. This story is about God never giving up on Peter. This story is about Peter questioning. The wounds to my soul did not come from God giving up on me and abandoning me. My soul is wounded because I gave up on myself and in some ways I gave up on God. Just like the abandoned church and Peter, we are all full of possibilities. God does not give up on anything or anyone. Jesus coming to earth is proof of this. "Jesus is God's way of refusing to not give up on his dream for the world."

There is hope all around us. God is all around us. God is everywhere and in everything, all we need to do is be still and know that he is God. God is in the brokenness of our world. God is in the war ravaged countries. God is with those suffering from diseases caused by poverty and a lack of resources. God is with the poor. 

"You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of the dust

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of us

All around

Hope is springing up from this old ground

Out of chaos life is being found in You"

(Gungor- Beautiful Things)

go in Peace. live PEACE. be PEACE.