Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Tears of Joy and Sadness, and Prayers of Hope

            I woke up early today, 7 AM to be exact. Those of you know me well know that I hate mornings and that I try to avoid them as much as possible. But I wanted to be up early today, I wanted to see if the SCOTUS was going to vote no for human rights two days in a row. Thankfully love won today. DOMA was ruled unconstitutional and PROP8 was dismissed. I had tears of joy streaming down my face, not only because of my own sexuality but because my great-uncle just might be able to marry his partner of 50 years. I hummed O Come O Come Emmanuel as I did dishes and drank my coffee.
            My tears of joy turned to tears of sadness in a matter of seconds. I found myself sitting at my kitchen table just staring at friends FB status. The news was heart breaking, Miguel, a member of the CCC family died in his sleep last night. I had a brief moment of denial it felt like it was just yesterday that he was making me a grilled cheese in the Bistro and talking to me about my senior thesis.  I made myself a grilled cheese for lunch and watched as CCC student, staff, faculty, and alum posted heart felt status about Miguel.
As I moved from tears of joy to tears of sadness I found myself reciting the words of some of the psalmists:
            For your steadfast love is as high as the heavens; your faithfulness extends to the clouds. Be exalted, O God,    
                               exalted, O God, above the heavens. Let your glory be over all the earth.  57:10-11       
               Lead me to the rock that is higher than I; for you are my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy. 61:2-3
               Be to me a rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me, for you are my rock and my fortress. 71:3

            This morning my tears of joy turned to tears of sadness and my thoughts became prayers of hope.


R.I.P Miguel CCC will never be the same. I still don’t know if it is taco Tuesday or taco Thursday but I do that it isn’t taco Monday, Wednesday, or Friday. Thank-you so much for countless grilled cheeses over four years and for all the memories.


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